Skydive

Love is not something so simple that you can just do. With love you cannot just press time out and then press resume. And someone like me should know so many have put me on pause just to take my game out and put in something else and there I am hopelessly trying to stay exactly how you left me but as sad as it seems I always have to restart ,love use to taste sooo sweet but now it’s so damn tart. Am I not bound to find love for my self just endlessly subdued to the pleasures of others joy? As time goes on it all seems to be a ploy a joke a button that no one can resist to poke as I open my mouth to utter the words that I can only put on paper I always tend to choke choke as if my mouth is full of cotton but closed mouths don’t get fed is that right? So I guess that means just because I am unable to speak my truth i am destined to be alone And yes I know that I am so very young but always being the butt of the joke of love is never fun  in fact it’s shitty I guess Im done I guess it was already written out in my story the only person I’ve every truly loved is now living out the glory the glory of love but yet it is not with me though sometimes it seems she cages me into the zone of friendship hesitantly. The only one I’ve ever truly loved though so close to me but will never be close enough. for you it always seems hard to not reciprocate these feelings it almost seems rough and yet you still stand there watching me fall endlessly should I just pull the string and land so ever gracefully?or just continue to drop so fast yet so slow can’t tell what’s up and what’s down I have nowhere to go should I just let go?even with the tides so high and I can’t even swim so  Just let go let go of the thought that one day there will be a reason for me to use this parachute crashing into uncharted land just to stand there alone deprived and deserted I know what you’re going to say “well maybe he doesn’t deserve it” well you’re not wrong but I hope you’re not right.