Phoenix Fire

When I feel myself slipping I begin to panic
I begin to run as far as I can from my thoughts
Everything that I have learned goes down the drain
And I return to the habits that no longer serve me but hurt me instead
I question my time and my change
I question myself
Because how could I have reached so far and feel so low to the ground
And yeah I can make up a pretty saying about how flowers start in the ground or some other bullshit about seasons
But how will that help
It won’t help
It never does
No matter how many positive affirmations I shove down my own throat
I can only watch it come and go as I always do
Watch myself wither into it all
Back into the dust from whence I came from