I wanna go back

I wanna go back
Back to the old me
The person I was before this life changed me
Back when I knew what it felt to live
Even if haphazardly
When the laughter and smiles
 came from a real place
Not just a decoy plastered on my face
A way to avoid the are you okays
Cause the truth is since the day I lost you
My life's been going sideways
Everything I thought I knew has turned into a distant place
A foggy Haze
People I thought I could trust have spit in my face
The love you brought in my life has since been replaced
I know your still looking after me, rerouting my self destruction and helping me to see
Whether or not I'm doing this alone there's more than what I've allowed myself to be
Always settling for less,  opting for the backseat
But it's time to make a change and start doing me.