Drowning

abuse, to them, a mere joke
that, leave me with no hope
addicted to self-harm to cope
with having no right to express
for him, only the marks impress
sharing feelings- means regret
seeking love in the bad people
who always end up, very fickle
in my heart, i wish I was dead
instead of staining hands red
& living in the hell, in my head
which makes me avoid myself
pain i indulge in, overwhelmed
as i take a deep breath, in-out
a tangled mind filled with doubt
i smile away, amidst the crowd
with my hair, in an insane mess
as i am fading into a dark abyss