I wanna be a phoenix

This is for everyone feeling lost , me included . Lately I’ve been losing myself multiple times doing things that are no good for myself and relapsing in my addiction. Every time I relapse I promise to myself it’s the last time but in never really is, and even when I make it for a few days I relapse.
I’m learning to love and to take care of myself in a healthy and loving way. I know that people that feel okay and not lost can not understand any of these things I’m saying.
I was thinking about the phoenix and how important is the meaning of her actions. She burns down and then she rises, in an amazing way, from her own ashes. This is what it’s happening to me, I feel like I’ve never been this low, I’m burned, there’s nothing left to burn, I’m all ashes, is time to rise. I want this rising to be healing and I really want to cope in an healthy way, because the only thing I’ve really realised is that hard, self-imposed, coping method don’t work, ever. You don’t have to do something, you have to want to do that thing, for yourself. Remember it, always. Don’t do anything the you don’t want to do because it’s not going to work as long as you don’t get any benefit from that. If you know what I’m talking about when I say that there is nothing left to burn I’m sorry, I’m truly and deeply am. No one should feel like that but anyone can rise. Burning in ashes is part of the rising, we have to remember this and we have the power to decide how to rise. We need to remember that we have the control al the power over our mind.