You have been here before

You have been here before
Fighting off tears that threaten to roll down your cheek,
And onto the floor.
Swallowing down the impending thought that
When you do,
You'll silently be admitting defeat.

You have been here before
Thinking, "they don't understand me and never will".
That thought playing on a loop in your brain.
As expected, you feel the surge of anger boiling inside of you
Begging you to scream the thoughts you are feeling
 And have felt
And will feel But as expected, you can’t.

You have been here before
The tortuous sound of sobbing
That - although breaks you to your very core - is coming from your own mouth.
The blurry vision of eyes so tired of expelling ever flowing tears
That they grow red and weak.
And worst of all,
The overwhelming self-hatred you feel
For allowing yourself to cry in the first place
For allowing yourself to think that you could stop
And for allowing yourself to eventually forget this experience and
 Make new, more painful ones.

You will always be here
 Because you cannot change how you are.
You cannot flip off your emotions like a switch, Even though you really really want too.
You were born emotional.
And might spend this life
Trying to accept that
Hoping - no praying - others do too.
Because if they don't,
Then this is going to be a
Hard, excruciating, seemingly endless road.