Swimming Lessons



I believe all relationships are toxic
Especially the ones involving me
I'm starving for a connection
But I refuse to eat

I'm always laying the groundwork
And you won't even toss me a brick
You can tell my life is broken
Why am I such a magnet for conflict?

So I'm smoking my last cigarette
And hating myself for not having it all figured out yet
And i'll push all my issues to the back burner
Settling to starve myself once again

I know I can't continue to eat these lies
No matter how bad I want the snack
I'm no longer hungry for the games

So I'll walk this road all alone
Followed only by demons
Who love throwing stones

It's pretty simple really
it's wrestle myself off the deep end
Or drown in your chaos again
Either way it looks like I'm going for a swim....

MAdkins
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Written on 2020

Submitted by madkinz67401 on February 28, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

53 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCX XACX DDXE XXX XXX BXEX
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 788
Words 166
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 3, 3, 4

“Lyricalyspeaking” Melissa Adkins

Hell yes, I push doors that clearly say pull. I giggle when I tell white lies, I only play poker if I can have three pair, my favorite color is clear, and I laugh even harder when I try to explain why I was laughing to begin with. I roll potatoes across the kitchen floor for sport, I hide the pain from anyone I love, okay, most everyone else to. I still count on my fingers for math, I walk in and out of rooms never remembering what the hell I went in for, I care entirely too much for people who don't care enough for me, I try to do other things before the microwave beeps. I push all my hurt down until I forget, and then... Well it doesn't hurt so bad then. I am not a graceful person. I trip over dense patches of air, I'm even louder when I try to be quiet and when I say I love you, I mean it. I'm not a morning person, I'm late to everything, I suck at most sports but damnit I play a mean game of pool! I'm impulsive and the most dis organized , organized mofo you will ever meet. I kiss better than I cook, and I say what's on my mind.... Eventually. And in written form. Cant argue to save my soul. But if I'm right, I will fight to the death. I wouldn't call myself religious so much as spiritual maybe? I will believe it when I see it, I wake up and put my pants on the same way as everyone else.... And I'm good with that more…

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