Letting Go

I sat staring out the window, into the darkness,
 Searching for some understanding, some peace of mind.
Oh, how I long for the comfort I once felt, the feeling of belonging,
 And the tranquility in life that I now cannot find.
I feel empty inside, like a part of me is now missing,
 Or maybe has even died.
And with this anguish burning from deep with in my soul,
 It's these bitter, angry tears, that I cry.
The sudden realization, that there is nothing that I can do ever,
 Pounds in my head, chanting the song of a loser, - an involent.
The ties that once held me to my hope, are now tangled around my throat,
 And they are choking me with nothing, but, pure resentment.
Oh if only I would have known,
 Such torment I could have saved this old heart from,
If only I would have listened to what all the others had said,
 Long before all this mass destruction, was done.
But, I am a fool of all fools,
 And I deserve only what I get.
And staring out across what is now just The Ruins,
 I know this I shall never forget.
I took a chance,
 Then I watched it all come tumbling down,
Shattering into a million pieces of What Might Have Been,
 Upon the ground.