Kingdom of confidence

Confidence is like a kingdom, and my kingdom is slowly dying

I look down below from my balcony,
I see all the ruins that lie before me.
An attack on my self esteem.
Insults fuel this fire, oh I'm burning to the ground.
Villagers have fled, no where to be found.
An explosion, my kingdom will no longer survive.
I try and I try, but I can't keep this alive.
I can't keep telling this lie,
Saying everyone's lying,
And that I really do look fine..
But I call my bluff.
I rebuild and I rebuild, but it's never enough.

People shouldn’t have to keep rebuilding the towers in the kingdom of confidence.
Only for others to go out and knock them down.
And the knock of every tower, means nothing to the offender.
But it sticks forever for those who have to keep setting up the blocks.
So many of our arms are just too tired to go reconstruct our fallen towers.
To rebuild what you know that we've spent hours on.
The guards surrender, because they know better,
Not to fall for another pipe dream,
That things will get better, it's just not reality.
You're held hostage by your own jealousy.
Your kingdom of confidence falls apart at the seams.

Everyday is a constant battle,
I grab my shield to protect myself from the hurt
That I know I will feel when I walk through the doors,
At this point, I thought I'd find it a bore,
But I don't.
It only hurts even more.

And this is not a just a story, it's real life.
And there's no fairies, or dragons, no magic, or knights.
But it still hurts the same, like the stab of a knife,
Or the swords the books, when they get in a fight

This is not alight, to have to feel this way
It's not okay, and I always hoped one day
It would get better
But the battle is worse than ever,
I wave the white flag and yell "I surrender"