Analysis of The Two Majors
William Schwenck Gilbert 1836 – 1911
An excellent soldier who's worthy the name
Loves officers dashing and strict:
When good, he's content with escaping all blame,
When naughty, he likes to be licked.
He likes for a fault to be bullied and stormed,
Or imprisoned for several days,
And hates, for a duty correctly performed,
To be slavered with sickening praise.
No officer sickened with praises his CORPS
So little as MAJOR LA GUERRE -
No officer swore at his warriors more
Than MAJOR MAKREDI PREPERE.
Their soldiers adored them, and every grade
Delighted to hear their abuse;
Though whenever these officers came on parade
They shivered and shook in their shoes.
For, oh! if LA GUERRE could all praises withhold,
Why, so could MAKREDI PREPERE,
And, oh! if MAKREDI could bluster and scold,
Why, so could the mighty LA GUERRE.
"No doubt we deserve it - no mercy we crave -
Go on - you're conferring a boon;
We would rather be slanged by a warrior brave,
Than praised by a wretched poltroon!"
MAKREDI would say that in battle's fierce rage
True happiness only was met:
Poor MAJOR MAKREDI, though fifty his age,
Had never known happiness yet!
LA GUERRE would declare, "With the blood of a foe
No tipple is worthy to clink."
Poor fellow! he hadn't, though sixty or so,
Yet tasted his favourite drink!
They agreed at their mess - they agreed in the glass -
They agreed in the choice of their "set,"
And they also agreed in adoring, alas!
The Vivandiere, pretty FILLETTE.
Agreement, you see, may be carried too far,
And after agreeing all round
For years - in this soldierly "maid of the bar,"
A bone of contention they found!
It may seem improper to call such a pet -
By a metaphor, even - a bone;
But though they agreed in adoring her, yet
Each wanted to make her his own.
"On the day that you marry her," muttered PREPERE
(With a pistol he quietly played),
"I'll scatter the brains in your noddle, I swear,
All over the stony parade!"
"I cannot do THAT to you," answered LA GUERRE,
"Whatever events may befall;
But this I CAN do - IF YOU wed her, MON CHER!
I'll eat you, moustachios and all!"
The rivals, although they would never engage,
Yet quarrelled whenever they met;
They met in a fury and left in a rage,
But neither took pretty FILLETTE.
"I am not afraid," thought MAKREDI PREPERE:
"For country I'm ready to fall;
But nobody wants, for a mere Vivandiere,
To be eaten, moustachios and all!
"Besides, though LA GUERRE has his faults, I'll allow
He's one of the bravest of men:
My goodness! if I disagree with him now,
I might disagree with him then."
"No coward am I," said LA GUERRE, "as you guess -
I sneer at an enemy's blade;
But I don't want PREPERE to get into a mess
For splashing the stony parade!"
One day on parade to PREPERE and LA GUERRE
Came CORPORAL JACOT DEBETTE,
And trembling all over, he prayed of them there
To give him the pretty FILLETTE.
"You see, I am willing to marry my bride
Until you've arranged this affair;
I will blow out my brains when your honours decide
Which marries the sweet Vivandiere!"
"Well, take her,' said both of them in a duet
(A favourite form of reply),
"But when I am ready to marry FILLETTE.
Remember you've promised to die!"
He married her then: from the flowery plains
Of existence the roses they cull:
He lived and he died with his wife; and his brains
Are reposing in peace in his skull.
Scheme | ABAB CDCD EFEF GXGX HFHF IJIJ KLKL MNMN OLOB PQPQ LRLR FGFG FSFS KLKB FSFS TUTU VGVG FBFB WFWF LXBX YZYZ |
---|---|
Poetic Form | Quatrain (95%) |
Metre | 11001011001 11001001 11110101011 11011111 11101111001 10101101 01101001001 11111001 11001011011 11011011 11001111001 11011 11001101001 01011101 101011001101 11001011 11111111001 11111 011111001 11101011 11101111011 11101001 111011101001 1110101 111101011 11001011 110111011 11011001 11101101101 11011011 11011011011 110111 101111101001 101001111 011001001001 01101 01011111011 01001011 110111101 01101011 11101011101 101001001 11101001001 11011011 10111100101 101011001 1100101111 11001001 11011111011 1001101 11111111011 111101 0101111001 1101011 11001001001 1101101 11101111 11011011 1111011 1110101 01111111101 11101011 11011001111 11001111 11011111111 11111001 11111110101 11001001 1110111011 1100101 010011011111 1110101 11111011011 01101101 1111111111 110011 11011110001 011101 1111101101 01011011 11001101001 101001011 11011111011 1101011 |
Closest metre | Iambic pentameter |
Characters | 3,229 |
Words | 623 |
Sentences | 30 |
Stanzas | 21 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4 |
Lines Amount | 84 |
Letters per line (avg) | 30 |
Words per line (avg) | 7 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 121 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 29 |
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Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 3:06 min read
- 117 Views
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"The Two Majors" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/41339/the-two-majors>.
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