Analysis of Two Months

I made a mistake and looked at the date,
and it scorned my blissful mood and evoked my lonely fate.
I’ve been grappling with darkness for forever it seems,
Because now, even you only patron my dreams.

You invade my thoughts day in and day out,
And that night is all I can think about.
The anxiety I felt at the gas station as I sat, With the weight of the world, my hat.
The room loud from the clock’s sharp chyme,
As you ran out of time.

I analyze our last moments, when I have time to spend, Wishing somehow someway, I could’ve changed your story’s end.
Your mind was clear, your body betrayed you,
and I know there was nothing anyone could do.
I watched as you slipped away,
Only two days before your birthday.
Yet I still don't believe it is real,
and I'm not ready to let my heart heal.

Did you hear the words I read?
My voice was weak, and you were shaking in the bed.
Thoughts like these keep me awake,
I meant every word I wrote and my emotions weren't fake.
It haunts me that I did not express to you my gratitude,
For all the generosity you gave me, with great magnitude.

It’s been exactly two months since I talked to you last,
You told me to keep going through the dark cast.
The pain lingers like smoke, as if it were yesterday,
But as you would say, yesterday is yesterday and today is today.

It's only been two months but it feels like two Years,
Today nicked my finger and out bled my fears.
It's funny in a way,
How time really does slip away.
Nineteen years flutter off, two months flap bye, and Two hours flitter around,
I wish it would land and enjoy the ground.