Analysis of Hopeful Loneliness
Such a strong emotion.
It causes one to do things they never thought they would.
Everyone feels it.
Yet everyone tries to avoid it.
Some make peace with it.
Some never get the opportunity.
Staying somewhere or with someone you shouldn't,
And you know you shouldn't.
Because you don't want to be alone.
Even when you think you're getting away.
Once the loneliness creeps in,
Many fall prisoner once again.
Loneliness makes you do terrible things to yourself.
When you go back and things are good, until they're not.
Screaming. Yelling. Spitting. Pushing. Name-calling.
Ponting out every flaw he knows you're sensitive about.
Taking your imperfections and making you hate them,
Instead of loving them.
No one is perfect. You know that.
Everyone else's imperfections are tolerable,
But not yours
He makes you think that.
Slowly ripping your identity away from you until you are Empty. Emotionless. Numb.
Accepting that the world will never accept you.
Begging for validation and feeling you will never find it.
You begin to hate yourself.
You are unloveable and no one will ever love you.
You spent years having your imperfections paraded in front of you.
A whirlwind of words of hate, destruction...
Destruction of you.
You finally leave and you're lost.
You don't know who you are anymore.
You realize the life you lived for years destroyed a sense of everything.
How to act around people. Even family.
The ones who love you most.
Destroyed your sense of security in public.
Avoiding eye contact with those you walk past
Because looking them in the eye is too personal.
Too connecting.
Afraid they will see the fear, the panic, the loneliness,
the pain, the confusion, the emptiness.
You're afraid they'll see this in a glance as you walk by.
Your eyes tell it all. You can't hide the pain in your eyes;
And you're afraid they'll call you on your bullshit.
Your persona of happiness, of laughter, of humor.
The mask you wear so people don't see your misery.
Don't see the agony of the pain you're suffering.
The pain you don't know how to feel.
Don't know how to address or process.
You open up to people and watch them slowly drift away.
Your pain is your burden and it's on your shoulders,
And your shoulders alone.
You feel people don't understand and will never be there.
So you lock yourself away.
Finding comfort being alone.
Finding comfort in the loneliness.
Craving love and human contact,
But being let down every time you open up.
Closing you up more and more.
Never losing hope you'll find your person.
Find your people.
People who will love you.
For you.
Despite the pain and suffering,
They will see you, and love you
For you.
Scheme | axbbbcddefxxg xhxiijkxjxlbgllal xmhcxxxxhnnxxbxchxxfxex fenxxmaklLhlL |
---|---|
Poetic Form | |
Metre | 101010 1101111110111 1011 11011011 11111 110100100 101111110 011110 011111101 1011111001 1010010 101100101 1001111001101 111101110111 10101010110 11100111110001 101010010111 011101 11101111 101001011000 111 11111 101010100011101111011 010101110011 101010010111011 1011101 11101111011 1111010100100111 011111010 01011 11001011 11111101 1100111110101110 111011010100 011111 011110100010 0101111111 0110100111100 1010 01111010100100 0100100100 1011110011111 1111111101011 0101111111 10101100110110 0111110111100 1101001011100 01111111 1111111 110111001110101 111110011110 011001 1110101011011 1110101 10101001 101000100 1010101 1101110011101 1011101 1010111110 1110 101111 11 01010100 1111011 11 |
Closest metre | Iambic pentameter |
Characters | 2,650 |
Words | 525 |
Sentences | 63 |
Stanzas | 4 |
Stanza Lengths | 13, 17, 23, 13 |
Lines Amount | 66 |
Letters per line (avg) | 31 |
Words per line (avg) | 7 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 519 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 115 |
About this poem
I wrote this poem as a domestic violence survivor. These are my residual effects and feelings caused by trauma from an emotionally abusive husband.
Font size:
Written on December 12, 2022
Submitted by jackiostwalt on December 31, 2022
Modified on March 26, 2023
- 2:44 min read
- 46 Views
Citation
Use the citation below to add this poem analysis to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Hopeful Loneliness" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 11 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/147906/hopeful-loneliness>.
Discuss this Jacqui Ostwalt poem analysis with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In