Analysis of "Mama I Apologize"

Momma I apologize for my every mistake,
But I just couldn't pull myself from the streets for my own sake.
I knew what type of anguish I was putting on your heart,
And I didn't mean for my actions to make you fall apart.
I was so misunderstood people thought I was insane,
When in reality I was trapped in the unbearable throes of my pain.
Kida died, but before she left, we lost our son,
I still feel like it was my fault, but there wasn't anything I could have done.
Momma you know what we had to do over the years,
We've always went through a struggle, making it hard to stop the tears.
Then my ignorance just added more limbs to your stress,
And I knew you wanted to snap sometimes, but you swallowed words you couldn't even digest.
That's why I still beat myself up for being so disdained,
Honor and cherish you because through the years your love never changed.
You've never turned your back on me, so please, don't give up on me yet,
And the hurt that I bestowed upon you, I'll always live to regret.
I can apologize to you for the rest of my life,
But I still can't make up for the happiness you chose to sacrifice.
Back then I did things I never stopped to realize,
And I know you love me momma, but again, I apologize!