Analysis of Stepping up & never bending back *Motivation

Dreaming about a perfect score, perfect life
But even the thoughts I'm thinking are imperfection
How do I lead myself on the path of progression..
It's tough and I want to prove myself
But it's not easy..
I want to not hurt so bad.. I want to cry no more
I want to shed good tears ,I'm looking forward to making an antidote
I don't depress easy,I'm strong
I'm unstoppable, not fragmented, original,unbreakable ..i quote
I'm honest,logical ,I feel ;empathy, sympathy, I know myself well- introspect retrospect..in n out
I have a goal in my life
I'm driven I'm motivated
I can't let myself be clumsy,I can't lie
I can't give up ,I can't cry
It's scary as #ell but it's a long road or a short one but  nevertheless I'll strut in heels ..I won't bend backwards into my old ways
I'll make hell into heaven
So it's easier to dwell
I'll cast a spell on myself  not others
I'd  manifest my wants
I'd work hard
I'd keep it in my heart ;
Secrets seem sweeter than gossips
I'll store them and lock 'em in an invisible cart

Let others win my love with respect
I give it out to those that I want to for free
Let him like me or not
Relationships can be Maybe or meant to be
Idc anymore..no more crushing
No more simping..  no more stalking
Erase him off my life like a boring incomplete love story
Write another one less Shakespearan ,more me..less romantic more realistic
More trust,less hurt
Less crush ,more blush
Less beauty creams,more homeless like buns-but more bigger better dreams
No more pleasing people
Pleasing myself
Helping only those who need a Helping hand
And Only to those to whom I can lend to
Not people who use  me
But people who care
I hurt too ,can't intake their pain
Taking too many painkillers would be my mistake ..which is not a gain and not again