Analysis of Where do I find you?

Did I forget you underneath my bed,
Are you that tiny that I cannot see you.
Maybe you are just a spirit thats why I cannot see you.
 Do I have to pay money in order to see you?
I may be missing the point here, you must
be expensive I cannot afford you. Where do I find you?

I have faith that I would find you,
Am I maybe looking in the wrong places?
Hope is slowly leaving my side.
The priest told me to find you in the church with
no luck there. The healer said you were with
my ancestors, how do I get there. Where do I find you ?

Those who found you speak of your serenity,
they say you as calm a summer.
They say you with you life is a faithful friend,
Do I deserve you ? Perhaps my answers lie in this question.
If I could have a sense of your tranquility,
I could finally accept defeat.

Maybe it is better not to have you,
Maybe I don't appreciate the little I have of you.
Do I even have you? My sincere apologies for doubting you,
I am an ordinary person with a blunder.
I hope your excellent nature gives me what I truly seek.