Analysis of THIS ISN'T ME

I'm that lost boy,
who got lost in space,
I'm so lost that I can't find my planet,
I've been in and out of oblivion,
Dark, silent and loud,
Creepy, wet and eerie.

Jailed and trapped in the empire of montrous thoughts,
Ail and despair filled my  body and soul,
Capitulated to the forces of doom,
It feels much worse than war,
There was more to come from anxiety.

I've gifted myself away to misery,
I became a slave to my mind,
I let sadness consume me,
Got raped many times by anxiety,
And alone,
I embarked on the darkest and deepest journey,
A solo journey filled with thorns and thistles.

At times I think,
Is it self-hate?
Or It's just thy prisoner's fate?

I want myself back,
But I have no will,
For I've been in chains with solitariness,
Even after I suceed,
Who will grant me companionship,
And accepts me with a heartfilled embrace?