Analysis of A hazy dream

Alone in this preposterous darkness, Succumbing to my wounded weakness, Paralyzed by these crippling old thoughts, What If I die here and my blue blood clots?

Standing alone, looking into the abyss,
 The sea facing me is somehow amiss,
Saying that I'm all okay is just a lie,
 I want to accept but all I do is deny.

Losing him, invited misery and chaos,
 I wasn't willing to comprehend the loss, Rushed to hold every hand that came my way, They were all but, distractions made of clay!

You appeared out of the blue and held my hand,
 Took me out of that bizarre, obnoxious land. Showed me there is more to life than pain,
 The spring is here and there is a lot to gain.

I'm trying to be free of this self-destruction, There is still hope for my mystical resurrection, Just a tangled mess of contradictory things,
I'll learn control and see what destiny brings!