Analysis of Seven Thirty One Twenty One
Tabitha J. Bryson 1973 (Indianapolis, Indiana)
I don't want to remember the abuse
didn't want to dance with her demons
always feeling lost & alone
searching for something to believe in.
So much pain & sadness
I suffered through in silence
all to protect her, my abuser
I gave my compliance.
Now it seems I've sealed my fate
I willingly dug my own grave
over half my life I've never lived
to the damage I'm enslaved.
Convinced that I'm unlovable
that I'm damaged beyond repair
I live out my life completely alone
never letting anyone near.
I've literally been isolated alone
over the last two years
rarely do I leave my apartment
barely going anywhere.
But something unexpected happened
amidst this spiraling fall
I discovered I'm so much happier
never seeing anyone at all.
I discovered unexpected joy
in the peacefulness of solitude
living life completely on my own terms
with virtually no input from any of you.
Years & years of feeling lonely
when all I really wanted was to be understood
I longed to have others around me
I thought I needed them to feel good.
I hated being alone for too long
demon memories would begin to surface
intrusive thoughts would poison my mind
leaving me lost & without purpose.
Believing the thoughts were my own
people became my diversion
anything was possible to be a distraction
and complete & total immersion.
Then something happened & I did a 180
& I realized a powerful truth
true happiness, peace & joy
doesn't come from any of you.
My inner world is much calmer now
thanks to total self discovery
I am my own therapist, healer & teacher
solely responsible for my own recovery.
I suddenly found strength & courage
I never knew that I possessed
absolute chaos had helped me find them
once my life was a total mess.
I had to rebuild myself
had to have a renovation
eliminating what was unnecessary
to establish this new revelation.
Useless things were abolished
thoughts, beliefs, stuff & people too
anything that was holding me back
from creating myself anew.
I had to discover who I was
what was it that I believed
just what were my own opinions
and which were my misdeeds.
What were the things I really liked
what was it that I actually loved
what things were important to me
and how much is really enough.
Were my fears justified
now that I saw them on my own
or were they just biproducts made up
from growing up in an abusive home?
Was myself whom I thought I was
or was she something else entirely
did I help to create her
or do I blame society?
What has fueled this desire within me
I suddenly hear myself say
why all of a sudden do this now
and will it really matter anyway?
It's a question I can't answer just yet
I've so much more to disentangle
my mind is filled & it's racing
bouncing from angle to angle.
But is there going to be any answers
to all of that of which I seek
or am I just wasting time again
wasting time until eternity?
Scheme | Text too long |
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Poetic Form | |
Metre | 1111010001 101111010 110101 101101010 11110 1101010 110101010 111010 1111111 11001111 101111101 1010101 01111 11100101 1111101001 1010101 11000110001 100111 101111010 101010 11001010 0111001 1010111100 10101011 10100101 00100110 1010101111 110001111011 1111010 111101011101 111110011 111101111 1101001111 10100101110 010111011 10110110 01001011 10011010 101100110010 00110010 11010110 11001001 110011 10111011 110111101 111010100 11111001010 1000100111010 11001110 11011101 101011111 11110101 111011 1110010 0100110100 101011010 1010010 1011101 10111011 1010101 111010111 1111101 11011010 010101 10011101 111111001 11001011 01111001 01110 11111111 1011111 1101010101 1111111 1111010100 1111010 11110100 11101010011 1100111 111010111 011101010 1010111011 11111010 1111110 10110110 11110111010 11111111 111110101 101010100 |
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 2,808 |
Words | 524 |
Sentences | 22 |
Stanzas | 1 |
Stanza Lengths | 88 |
Lines Amount | 88 |
Letters per line (avg) | 26 |
Words per line (avg) | 6 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 2,284 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 524 |
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Written on July 31, 2021
Submitted by tabbycat_b on July 31, 2021
Modified by tabbycat_b on August 10, 2021
- 2:41 min read
- 13 Views
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"Seven Thirty One Twenty One" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/106157/seven-thirty-one-twenty-one>.
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