Analysis of Past the Shallows



Past the shallows now,
well and truly into deep water –
water that is charcoal cold.
I navigate these waters alone.
Children playing in the bay
race to collect the early morning treasure
gifted by tide,
left lying on sandy mounds.
In these shallows
the bays and cays are protected –
life is carefree and careless,
and sun sings her tuneful rays.
Too quickly the tide turns,
taking me out deeper each year -
deeper into whitewater waves
where treasures serve only to tease me.
Paths that were once clear
now seem distant, confused,
hurrying me deeper
as if in some urgency.
In this twilight break –
blackened waters swirl,
their soft-lipped touches
enticing me down.
Soon, too soon - like tidal waters
I’ll ebb and flow until
what I have to offer -
will not be enough.


Scheme ABCDEBFGGHIJKLMNLOBNPQRSTUBV
Poetic Form
Metre 1011 101001110 101111 11011001 1010001 11010101010 1011 1101101 011 01011010 111010 0110101 110011 10111011 1001101 110110111 11011 111001 100110 1101100 0111 10101 11110 01011 11111010 110101 111110 11101
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 775
Words 151
Sentences 8
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 28
Lines Amount 28
Letters per line (avg) 22
Words per line (avg) 5
Letters per stanza (avg) 606
Words per stanza (avg) 138

About this poem

When we are young, we play in shallow waters and live a carefree, happy time - well-protected. As we age, we venture out alone into deeper waters until age takes its toll and no-one cares about us anymore. Can I survive the future? Will people still want what I can offer, or is this not going to be enough?

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Written on January 11, 2023

Submitted by susannaelliott on January 31, 2024

45 sec read
121

Susanna Elliott-Newth

Susanna is a teacher, living near the coastal fringes of the Illawarra Coastline in NSW, Australia. Her environment is her stimulus for her writing. She has published four books of short stories, as well as her own memoir book, and writes educational resources for teachers. more…

All Susanna Elliott-Newth poems | Susanna Elliott-Newth Books

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