sofia_o

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sofia_o
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A member of the Poetry.com vibrant community of poetry lovers.

  May 2021     2 years ago

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Latest Comments: 2 total

Poetry.com
Hi, I liked the first part a lot (till "jam"), as well as the idea. Then it starts to lose its rhythm and in a couple of instances the expression is more prosaic than it should. Also there is no culmination to the ending, it's losing its purpose.
However I believe the first part is really strong, the rythm is strong and almost recreates the rythm of the wheels of the train and the music that was played. I believe it needs some more work, but beautiful theme, great rythm! 

2 years ago

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Poetry.com
Very poor translation I'm afraid.

2 years ago

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