The Lingothatweuze

I metabloke in Collun-street
A cove I yustano
When I wus workin Southoss,
A yeerertwo ago.

Sezzi, 'Well, owye kumminup?
I spose yehnomee still?'
'E grabsme betha 'andansiz,
'W'y owsheegoinbil?'

'Well, wotchadoinow?' sizzi,
Alludin' to 'is work.
'I aven gotakop,' sezee,
'At presen'. Wot's your lurk?'

'I'm upagenit pritty bad,
An' lookin' furra job,'
I answers. Then I bytsiz lug:
'Say, kinyeh lensa bob?'

'E anzitover. Then Isiz,
'Well, wotsbekumaflo?'
Referrin' to a tartuviz
But eesiz, 'Idunno.

'She yusta gimmelip,' eesiz,
'Anso we ata paht.
Ixceptin fere mag,' eesiz,
 'Shewuza boshtataht.'

'Shewuz orright piece,' sizzi,
'Althoer tongue wus free.'
An then I springsa traponim:
'I seener yestadee.'

'Gostrooth!' sizee. 'I didunno
Thet shewuz ovareer!
I 'ope she izen chasinmee;
Buttit looks bloominqueer.'

'Orright,' sizzi, 'don't loosyerblock,
You'll meeter byunbye.
But she won'trubble you bekos
I've marrider,' sizzi.

'Well, sparemedays, it beatstha band
'Ow these things workeround!
But after wotcha say,' sizzee,
'I'll standja ina pound.'

'A quid's orright,' sizzi, 'but still
I dunnowota think.'
'Don't chewitover now,' sizzee,
'But cumanavadrink.'

We adabeer an' didagit;
An' I've dunnin the Quid.
Ewuza tofter giime it.
I wunnerwye edid?

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

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"The Lingothatweuze" Poetry.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 7 Jul 2020. <https://www.poetry.net/poem/6702/the-lingothatweuze>.

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