Logic and Spotted Dog
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis 1876 (Auburn) – 1938 (Melbourne)
'Unless you 'ide that axe,' she sez, ''E'll 'urt 'imself reel bad.
An' after all - Now, Bill, don't cry! - that trouble that I've 'ad,
Wiv 'im thro' croop an' whoopin' corf, 'e goes an' cuts 'imself!
Why don't you 'ang it on the wall, or 'ide it on a shelf?
But there it wus, jist thrown about. You ort to take more care!
You left it there!
'You left it there,' she sez, 'an' now . . .' I sez, ''Old on a jiff.
Let's git the fac's all sorted out before we 'as a tiff
I'm mighty careful wiv that axe, an' never leaves it out.
An' I'd be mad if that young imp got knockin' it about.'
'Ole axe!' she sez. Look at 'is thumb! A precious lot you care!
You left it there!'
I am marri'd to a woman; which is nacheral an' right.
I sez that over to meself, fer safety, day an' night.
Most times I sez it fond an' proud wiv gladness in me mind;
But sometimes philosophic-like an' wot yeh'd call resigned.
'An axe as sharp as that,' she sez. 'It reely isn't fair!
You left it there!
'The way you pet that axe,' she sez - 'the way it's ground an' filed,
The way you fairly fondle it, you'd think it wus a child!
An' when I pick the ole thing up to cut a bit uv stri
Yeh rave an' shout ...' 'Wait on,' I sez. 'But ir'n's a different thing.
An' you wus choppin' fencin' wire!' She sez, 'Well, I don't care.
You left it there!'
I 'elps meself to spotted dog, an' chews, an' thinks a while.
'I'm reely sorry,' I begins. Then, as I seen 'er smile
I plays 'er fer the fun uv it, an' sez, 'But, all the same,
If he gits foolin' wiv that axe 'e's got 'imself to blame.'
'Er eyes spark up. 'A child like that! Now, Bill, it isn't fair!
You left it there!'
I cuts another slice an' sez, 'This spotted dog's a treat.
Uv course, 'ooever left it there,' I sez, 'wus - indiscreet.
'Careless!' she sez. 'You know you are! 'E might 'a' cut 'is face!
An axe as sharp as that,' she sez, 'should be kep' in its place.'
'Quite right,' I sez. 'An' not,' she sez, 'jist thrown round anywhere.
You left it there!'
An' then I lets 'er 'ave it, an' I sez, 'Now, think a bit.
I put that axe away last night when all the wood wus split.'
'Well, that's enough about it now,' she sez. I seen 'er wince,
An' sez, 'I put that axe away, an' 'aven't used it since;
But someone else wus usin' it this mornin', I kin swear,
An' left it there.'
'Well, never mind . . . Poor Bill!' she sez. 'Was 'is poor thumb all 'urt?'
(Oh, it's entertainin' sometimes fer to argue wiv a skirt.)
'There's someone else,' I sez, an' grins, an' kids I'm doin' fine,
'Wus usin' it this mornin' fer to cut a bit uv pine.
So now,' I sez, 'apolergise! I've beat you fair an' square!
You left it there!'
Fer 'arf a mo she pets young Bill, an' would'nt meet me eye.
Thinkin' she wus - I knew she wus. An' then she lets it fly:
'If you 'ad cut that wood,' she sez, 'an' I implored you to,
There wouldn't be no need fer me to 'ave sich things to do!
It ain't right fer a woman . . .' ''Ere!' I sez. 'Now, I don't care
'Oo left it there!'
'Uv course you don't!' she gits me back. 'You never care a bit!
An' it ain't right fer a woman to 'ave kin'lin' wood to split;
While there's a man about the 'ouse!' I sees the tears is near,
An' pats 'er 'air. 'Now, let it drop,' I sez. 'Don't worry, dear.'
'Ow can I let it drop?' she sobs. 'You said you didn't care
'Oo left it there'
'I do!' I yells. 'I mean - I don't - I . . .' Oh, Gaw spare me days!
When you argue wiv a woman she 'as got you either ways!
You 'ave to do it in the end; an' so I licks the dirt,
An' sez, 'Dear, I apolergise. I'm - sorry - if I 'urt.'
Yes, I'm marri'd to a woman. An' she smiles, an' strokes me 'air,
An - leaves it there.
Font size:
Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 3:53 min read
- 129 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | aabbcC bbddcC eeffcC ggcxcC hhiicC jjkkcC llmmcc anoocC ppqqcC llrrcC ssnacc |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic hexameter |
Characters | 3,626 |
Words | 779 |
Stanzas | 11 |
Stanza Lengths | 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6 |
Translation
Find a translation for this poem in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Logic and Spotted Dog" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/6436/logic-and-spotted-dog>.
Discuss the poem Logic and Spotted Dog with the community...
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In