It's a Jungle Out There

On leaving the house you'd best say a prayer
Take my advice and don't travel by train
As Tarzan said to Jane, 'It's a jungle out there.'

I'm not a man who will easily scare
But I'd rather lick maggots than get on a plane.
On leaving the house you'd best say a prayer.

Skateboards are lethal on top of a stair
A broken back means you'll not walk again
As Tarzan said to Jane, 'It's a jungle out there.'

When the sky turns purple better beware
Bacillus on the breeze and acid in the rain
On leaving the house you'd best say a prayer

Avoid beef like the plague or your plague will be rare
Alcopops slowly eat away the brain
As Tarzan said to Jane, 'it's a jungle out there.'

Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air
For the sake of the children repeat the refrain:
On leaving the house you'd best say a prayer
As Tarzan said to Jane, 'It's a jungle out there.