The Last Party

What would I have done, if I had known?
If I had known it was our last good-bye?
I'm sure i would have lingered, begged you to stay, or at least held onto your hand as long as I could.  
I did not think it possible, but I dreamt, hoped, wished, prayed, and begged God to forgive you, glue you back together, and put you where you were before you left, this time prepared to stay, accept medicine to relieve symptoms without despairing, buckle in and whether the storm.  How lonely I felt, how shocked.  I knew I loved you, but had no inkling how deep the roots reached beneath the surface.  I've never felt so deeply beneath the tip of the iceburg before, and to feel it in pain of loss was beyond description.  Life would never be the same.