Struggling to suppress the affliction of recollections of being with you.
The anguished filled days awaiting your every move.
Hoping that I would be enough or the one to sooth.
Sooth your mind, body, and soul.
Giving you complete control.
For you there was absolutely nothing that I wouldn't do.
Blinded myself to the unhealth of your abusive actions.
The distractions of money, sex, limelight in "the life" were more than attractions.
In you oddly enough, I found great satisfaction.
Knowing for a fact that it would never last.
Suffocating in the struggles, the loneliness, I've been trying my hardest to get over this past.
The look in your eyes as I'd take a last gasp.
Before I wake up to another blow to the back of my head arms flailing for grasp.
Nothing to hold, no one to hold, no one for the detailed story to be told.
The month long Jessica Rabbit hair.
Not because I wanted to be mysteriously sexy.
Just please don't look at me.
You're too close, asking too many questions, starting to stare.
"Nigga didn't even hit me like that...
The "yistol" got my eyebrow and it just swelled up like that...
Why were we fighting? Well there's no real answer to that."
Most of the time I couldn't tell you, there should never be a reason for that.
I'll end it here while I'm digging too deep.
Thinking way too hard is trying to force me to weep.
Yeah I'm done I refuse to give in.
Ever shedding another tear over you would be a volatile sin.
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Catria Kirby

A strange dreamer from Colorado Springs. Mother, daughter, sister, anxiety driven thinker. Finding release through the art of poetry. more…

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"Memories" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 27 May 2020. <>.

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