Kaiser and Co. Or Hoch der Kaiser

Alexander MacGregor Rose 1846 (Tomantoul, Banffshire) – 1898 (Montreal)

[Being Wilhelm der Grosser's estimate of himself and partner, translated from the original Hoch-deutsch.]

Der Kaiser auf der Vaterland
Und Gott on high all dings gommand,
Ve two! Ach! don'd you understandt?
Meinself -- und Gott.

He reigns in Heafen, und always shall,
Und mein own Embire don'd vas small;
Ein noble bair, I dink you call
Meinself -- und Gott.

While some men sing der power divine,
Mein soldiers sing der "Wacht am Rhein,"
Und drink der healt in Rhenish wein,
Auf me -- und Gott.

Dere's France dot swaggers all aroundt,
She ausgespieldt -- she's no aggoundt,
To mooch ve dinks she don't amoundt:
Meinself -- und Gott.

She vill not dare to fight again,
But if she should, I'll show her blain
Dot Elsass und (in French) Lorraine
Are Mein -- und Gott's.

Von Bismarck was a man auf might,
Und dought he vas glean oud auf sight,
But ach! he vas nicht goot to fight
Mit me -- und Gott.

Ve knock him like ein man auf sdraw,
Ve let him know whose vill vas law,
Und dot ve don'd vould sdandt his jaw,
Meinself -- und Got.

Ve send him oudt in big disgrace,
Ve gif him insuldt to his face,
Und put Caprivi in his place,
Meinself -- und Gott.

Und ven Caprivi get svelled headt,
Ve very brombtly on him set,
Und toldt him to get vp and get --
Meinself -- und Gott.

Dere's Grandma dinks she's nicht shmall beer,
Mit Boers und dings she interfere;
She'll learn none runs dis hemisphere
But Me -- und Gott.

She dinks, goot frau, some ships she's got,
Und soldiers mit der sgarlet coat,
Ach! ve could knock dem -- pouf! like dot,
Meinself -- und Gott.

Dey say dat badly fooled I vas
At Betersburg by Nicholas,
Und dat I act shust like ein ass
Und dupe, Herr Gott.

Vell, maybe yah und maybe nein,
Und maybe Czar mit France gombine
To take dem lands about der Rhein
From me -- und Gott.

But dey may try dot leedle game,
Und make der breaks; but all der same,
Dey only vill increase der fame
Auf me -- und Gott.

In dimes auf beace, brebared for wars
I bear der helm and sbear auf Mars,
Und care nicht for ten dousand Czars,
Meinself -- und Gott.

In short, I humour efery whim,
Mit aspect dark and visage grim,
Gott pulls mit me und I mit Him --
Meinself -- und Gott.

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

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Alexander MacGregor Rose

Alexander Macgregor Rose was a 19th century Scottish-born poet, journalist, Free Church minister and teacher who lived the last twenty years or so of his life in first New York City and then in two Canadian cities. He moved first to Toronto and then spent the last two years of his life in Montreal. He was born on the 17th August 1846 in the small town of Tomantoul, Banffshire which is in the far north of Scotland. He received a good education and attended the University of Aberdeen, graduating from there at the age of 21. Within three years he was Master of the Free Church School in the Ross-shire town of Gairloch. His faith though was strong enough to fuel ambitions to be a minister of the church and he gave up teaching, returning to Aberdeen for a four-year course of study in Divinity. Tragedy struck in 1898 when Rose suffered a suspected paralytic stroke. He died at the Notre Dame hospital in Montreal on the 10th May 1898, aged 51. more…

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