Heartbroken Emotions

Anger, Fear, Pain, Shock
 I could have felt all those and more, but instead, I felt nothing
That void is far worse.  All other emotions around me showed the presence of his heart.
But I was almost not there at all.... I wanted to feel.
I hated the guilt at the lack of my reaction as much as I hated what happened to us.
-Only my isolated broken heart could not attest to my surroundings.
The thought of him made it hard to breath. I wish I could cry... but I can't break down my mental blockage; soon, I'm crying,- but not me,  for him
 I touched his picture with my trembling fingers.   My tears frozen in my
eyes & I suddenly could not cry.  I feel something I cannot express.
No words exist to explain the way I feel.-- It's a stark and chilling reality
that struck me there.   Only holding on to his memory and my mind simply
stops............
Have you ever wondered what It'd be like to go to Hell?
Hell is beyond the realm of tears. This is why I can no longer cry for him
--Maybe I meant to hurt him. Maybe the fact that he always THOUGHT
I'd leave him for someone else, got through to me.  My then comforted, faithful heart ,- turned on him... on myself.
       Now I'm left all alone with this isolated, uninterupted heart.  Something
I'll never again be able to understand.  Love is something I never want
to fall into again.
Nothing about the end made it worthwhile.  I HATE myself for what I did to
him- but at the same time, I feel the exact same thing towards him.
  ---- I broke his heart.......I broke my own