The life we choose

I wake up everyday.
I stand up and immediately step into my fear.
I like many before me I am not living to my potential
I defer my dreams and replace noble pursuits with distractions.
I spend my time in front of a screen.
I watch others live the life I want.
I enjoy a life of comfort. No risk, no getting out of my comfort zone, I watch what I say, in fear of rejection or hatred.
I blame others for my own regrets.
I am not passionate about anything except my distractions.
I listen to others and deny my own thoughts, dreams, and goals.
My head is always in the future.
My heart is always in the past.
I want to live, love, and have no regrets.
I will not pursue such things.
For If I do I will leave my life of comfort.
I may become hated, shut out, denied.
But everyday I desire those three things
But just like everyday, I pursue a life of caution.
I want change but won't, because of laziness, and fear of failure.
You will see me years from now, you won't think much of me.
When I die some will remember me.
But I will have lived so cautiously as if I had never lived at all.
This is my fate, the tragedy of I and the many.
Dreams given up in the face of practicality.
Loves never known because of the fear of rejection.
Friendships never made because of fear of being disliked.
Things never made because of the fear of being called mad.
I want to change, I want to live without regret.
I want to leave here on empty, everything in the tank used up.
Yet I will always set boundaries for myself, and live within them.
I will shrink them day by day until the end of my life.
I will then realize my mistake but by that time it will be to late, my time will have passed.
I will die like the many, my song will still be left in my heart, untouched as the day I was born.
Trying to escape a body which has become no more.
Cry for my song, not for me, my life will be my own doing.
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"The life we choose" Poetry.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Aug. 2019. <https://www.poetry.net/poem/44191/the-life-we-choose>.

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