I caused it all

Zac 

I use this suicidal tendency as comedic relief.
These thoughts aren't my wants or beliefs.
So I laugh at the thoughts to make them hurt less.
Because less pain means less resentment for my life decisions. So I shove it down my throat and take a drink of fake happy to wash it down. Every bad thought and evil feeling stabbing me in the throat on the way down. I spit up blood as a reminder of all of the pain I've caused every person who has entered my life. This blood doesnt wash away but merely fades to be less visible only wishing one needle would stab my heart and end it all. Then ill leave a letter that says.... I CAUSED IT ALL.....
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Submitted by zac90 on April 19, 2015

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    "I caused it all" Poetry.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 24 Oct. 2020. <https://www.poetry.net/poem/43867/i-caused-it-all>.

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