The Centenarians



I asked of ancient gaffers three
          The way of their ripe living,
And this is what they told to me
          Without Misgiving.

The First: 'The why I've lived so long,
          To my fond recollection
Is that for women, wine and song
          I've had a predilection.
Full many a bawdy stave I've sung
          With wenches of my choosing,
But of the joys that kept me young
          The best was boozing.'

The Second: 'I'm a sage revered
          Because I was a fool
And with the bourgeon of my beard
          I kept my ardour cool.
On health I have conserved my hold
          By never dissipating:
And that is why a hundred old
          I'm celebrating.'

The Third: 'The explanation I
          Have been so long a-olding,
Is that to wash I never try,
          Despite conjugal scolding.
I hate the sight of soap and so
          I seldom change my shirt:
Believe me, Brother, there is no
          Preservative like dirt.'

So there you have the reasons three
          Why age may you rejoice:
Booze, squalour and temerity,--
          Well, you may take your choice.
Yet let me say, although it may
          Your egoism hurt,
Of all the three it seems to me
          The best is DIRT.

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:01 min read
91

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB CDCDEBEB FGFGHBHB IBIBJKJK ALALXKAK
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,180
Words 203
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 4, 8, 8, 8, 8

Robert William Service

Robert William Service was a poet and writer sometimes referred to as the Bard of the Yukon He is best-known for his writings on the Canadian North including the poems The Shooting of Dan McGrew The Law of the Yukon and The Cremation of Sam McGee His writing was so expressive that his readers took him for a hard-bitten old Klondike prospector not the later-arriving bank clerk he actually was Robert William Service was born 16 January 1874 in Preston England but also lived in Scotland before emigrating to Canada in 1894 Service went to the Yukon Territory in 1904 as a bank clerk and became famous for his poems about this region which are mostly in his first two books of poetry He wrote quite a bit of prose as well and worked as a reporter for some time but those writings are not nearly as well known as his poems He travelled around the world quite a bit and narrowly escaped from France at the beginning of the Second World War during which time he lived in Hollywood California He died 11 September 1958 in France Incidentally he played himself in a movie called The Spoilers starring John Wayne and Marlene Dietrich more…

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