A Song For Kilts



How grand the human race would be
     If every man would wear a kilt,
A flirt of Tartan finery,
     Instead of trousers, custom built!
Nay, do not think I speak to joke:
     (You know I'm not that kind of man),
I am convinced that all men folk.
     Should wear the costume of a Clan.
     
Imagine how it's braw and clean
     As in the wind it flutters free;
And so conducive to hygiene
     In its sublime simplicity.
No fool fly-buttons to adjust,--
     Wi' shanks and maybe buttocks bare;
Oh chiels, just take my word on trust,
     A bonny kilt's the only wear.

'Twill save a lot of siller too,
     (And here a canny Scotsman speaks),
For one good kilt will wear you through
     A half-a-dozen pairs of breeks.
And how it's healthy in the breeze!
     And how it swings with saucy tilt!
How lassies love athletic knees
     Below the waggle of a kilt!

True, I just wear one in my mind,
     Since sent to school by Celtic aunts,
When girls would flip it up behind,
     Until I begged for lowland pants.
But now none dare do that to me,
     And so I sing with lyric lilt,--
How happier the world would be
     If every male would wear a kilt!

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:04 min read
121

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABABCDCD EAEAFGFG HIHIJBJB KLKLABAB
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,131
Words 212
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 8, 8, 8, 8

Robert William Service

Robert William Service was a poet and writer sometimes referred to as the Bard of the Yukon He is best-known for his writings on the Canadian North including the poems The Shooting of Dan McGrew The Law of the Yukon and The Cremation of Sam McGee His writing was so expressive that his readers took him for a hard-bitten old Klondike prospector not the later-arriving bank clerk he actually was Robert William Service was born 16 January 1874 in Preston England but also lived in Scotland before emigrating to Canada in 1894 Service went to the Yukon Territory in 1904 as a bank clerk and became famous for his poems about this region which are mostly in his first two books of poetry He wrote quite a bit of prose as well and worked as a reporter for some time but those writings are not nearly as well known as his poems He travelled around the world quite a bit and narrowly escaped from France at the beginning of the Second World War during which time he lived in Hollywood California He died 11 September 1958 in France Incidentally he played himself in a movie called The Spoilers starring John Wayne and Marlene Dietrich more…

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