The Shafter Shafted

Ambrose Bierce 1842 (Meigs County) – 1914 (Chihuahua)



Well, James McMillan Shafter, you're a Judge
At least you were when last I knew of you;
And if the people since have made you budge
I did not notice it. I've much to do
Without endeavoring to follow, through
The miserable squabbles, dust and smudge,
The fate of even the veteran contenders
Who fight with flying colors and suspenders.
Being a Judge, 'tis natural and wrong
That you should villify the public press
Save while you are a candidate. That song
Is easy quite to sing, and I confess
It wins applause from hearers who have less
Of spiritual graces than belong
To audiences of another kidney
Men, for example, like Sir Philip Sidney.

Newspapers, so you say, don't always treat
The Judges with respect. That may be so
And still no harm done, for I swear I'll eat
My legs and in the long hereafter go,
Snake-like, upon my belly if you'll show
All Judges are respectable and sweet.
For some of them are rogues and the world's laughter's
Directed at some others, for they're Shafters.

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

56 sec read
110

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABABBACCDEDEEDFF GHGHHGCC
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 973
Words 180
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 16, 8

Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. more…

All Ambrose Bierce poems | Ambrose Bierce Books

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