The Humorist

Ambrose Bierce 1842 (Meigs County) – 1914 (Chihuahua)



'What is that, mother?'
'The funny man, child.
His hands are black, but his heart is mild.'

'May I touch him, mother?'
''T were foolishly done:
He is slightly touched already, my son.'

'O, why does he wear such a ghastly grin?'
'That's the outward sign of a joke within.'

'Will he crack it, mother?'
'Not so, my saint;
'T is meant for the _Saturday Livercomplaint.'

'Does he suffer, mother?'
'God help him, yes!
A thousand and fifty kinds of distress.'

'What makes him sweat so?'
'The demons that lurk
In the fear of having to go to work.'

'Why doesn't he end, then, his life with a rope?'
'Abolition of Hell has deprived him of hope.'

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

36 sec read
93

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABB ACC DD AXB AEE XFF GG
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 625
Words 133
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 3, 3, 2, 3, 3, 3, 2

Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. more…

All Ambrose Bierce poems | Ambrose Bierce Books

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