Takin' a look

I am sitting here taking a look at my life it's at times it sucks but however I have to take some time to really look at my life to see the ends and out now since my scare of death has araised
Taking a look at my surroundings and the people in my circle definitely to see if there are positive or negative for my life and also family
Taking a look at my motherhood that's always being questioned by my own and it's not being allowed
Being a black woman with no real purpose in this life I am living at this moment is truly unbearable for me
Taking a look at love in my life and where it's headed to and I been in love with being loved for years which is what makes me safe and secure
Taking a look a healthy look at my now life is different and scarier not really knowing the outcome of my future in which I know it's really my job to make the steps forward towards my own future, however it's been very frightening for me as an individual so scared at times I can't breathe
Taking a look at this and not knowing ife or when I will no longer be around plus having someone leave before their time got me seeing things differently and being afraid to sometimes put one foot in front of the other to move forward I've been turned away turn down pushed back and pushed too far
Taking a look at the journey I've traveled this far has torn me apart like I've been dealing with this alone, but I wasn't really alone just inside my head and my own consciousness
I was raised to be seen but not heard in my childhood it wasn't intentional but it was how it became
However now I tried to have a voice and at times it's silence and makes me less of
Taking a look is a very different look now in this lifetime of mine now I know time is too short and I feel I got to cut ties and stop living a lie before I die I cry