Doubt

1       They bade me cast the thing away,
2     They pointed to my hands all bleeding,
3     They listened not to all my pleading;
4       The thing I meant I could not say;
5       I knew that I should rue the day
6       If once I cast that thing away.

7       I grasped it firm, and bore the pain;
8     The thorny husks I stripped and scattered;
9     If I could reach its heart, what mattered
10     If other men saw not my gain,
11     Or even if I should be slain?
12     I knew the risks; I chose the pain.

13     O, had I cast that thing away,
14   I had not found what most I cherish,
15   A faith without which I should perish,--
16     The faith which, like a kernel, lay
17     Hid in the husks which on that day
18     My instinct would not throw away!