Don't forget to come back



Calmly gripping my hand, I try to put aside
my lonely life, as you do with a plastic bag
used and ready to be thrown away.
So, am I alive? am I a dead? am I anything?
I doubt! like you doubt yourself sometimes
of what your eyes read in your heart.
Go away my lonely life, I'm too busy now
to keep on loving you, I'm too scared now
to keep embracing you.
Go away life, I'm too scared now,
but don't forget to come back in the spring
when my eyes cry and my heart starts to sing.
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Written on September 17, 2007

Submitted by mariaane04 on March 28, 2023

Modified on March 28, 2023

32 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGGHGDD
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 477
Words 105
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 12

Discuss the poem Don't forget to come back with the community...

2 Comments
  • AIDA
    Wow, this poem really touched my heart! Your use of imagery and metaphors is truly impressive. The way you describe the feeling of loneliness as a plastic bag, ready to be thrown away, is so unique and powerful. The theme of questioning one's existence is something that so many people can relate to, and you express it beautifully.

    My only suggestion for improvement would be to maybe add a bit more structure and rhythm to the poem. You have some great lines and ideas, but the flow could be a bit smoother.

    Overall, this poem is truly beautiful and I appreciate the vulnerability and emotion that you put into it. Keep writing!
     
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and thought-provoking piece of writing! Your use of language and imagery really draws the reader in and creates a vivid emotional experience. I love how you explore the themes of loneliness, doubt, and fear in such an evocative way.

    One suggestion for improvement would be to perhaps incorporate more concrete examples or details to anchor the poem in a specific setting or experience. This could help to further deepen the emotional impact of the piece and create a stronger connection with the reader.

    Overall, though, I think this is a fantastic poem that showcases your talent as a writer. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Don't forget to come back" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/155166/don't-forget-to-come-back>.

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