I'm fine

Tried so many times but the results came out negative
Smile so many times but remembering keeps hurting me.

Oh destiny, what have thou done to me?
Must you always be against me
When I need you to defend me?

The pain is dreadful as it hurt
I might seems okay but I'm not.

"I'm fine" that is the response I gave you. everytime you ask me "how are you?".
But in reality I'm not fine, I've got memories that I wish it's never mine, situations I wish I could not have, fears I wish I could fight.

I won't lie, suicide keeps coming to my mind.
But running away from a situation that requires fighting is cowardice.

So, I will continue fighting till I conquer
I will migrate from the state of denial into state of self acceptance.