Fifty-Fifty

Franklin P. Adams 1881 (Chicago, Illinois) – 1960 (New York City, New York)



For something like eleven summers
I've written things that aimed to teach
Our careless mealy-mouthéd mummers
To be more sedulous of speech.

So sloppy of articulation
So limping and so careless they,
About distinct enunciation,
Often I don't know what they say.

The other night an able actor,
Declaiming of some lines I heard,
I hailed a public benefactor,
As I distinguished every word.

But, oh! the subtle disappointment!
Thorn on the celebrated rose
And fly within the well-known ointment!
(Allusions everybody knows).

Came forth the words exact and snappy.
And as I sat there, that P.M.,
I mused, "Was I not just as happy
When I could not distinguish them?"

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

34 sec read
75

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IJIJ
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 665
Words 115
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Franklin P. Adams

Franklin Pierce Adams was an American columnist known as Franklin P. Adams and by his initials F. P. A.. Famed for his wit, he is best known for his newspaper column, "The Conning Tower", and his appearances as a regular panelist on radio's Information Please. A prolific writer of light verse, he was a member of the Algonquin Round Table of the 1920s and 1930s. more…

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