Ballade Of The Hardy Annual

Franklin P. Adams 1881 (Chicago, Illinois) – 1960 (New York City, New York)



Many a jest that refuses to die
  Bobs up again as the seasons appear;
Deathless it hits us again in the eye-
  Changeless and dull as the calendar year.
  Musty and mouldy and yellow and sere,
Stronger, withal, than the sturdiest oak;
  Ancient and solemn and deadly and drear-
Down with the grandmother-funeral joke!

Soon as the snow has forgotten to fly,
  All through the day of the 'leathery sphere,'
Jokelets and pictures and verses we spy
  All on the theme of the grandmother dear.
  Bonnets, umbrellas, and buckets of beer
Please us and tickle us quite to the choke.
  But-on this matter our attitude's clear-
Down with the grandmother-funeral joke!

Giggle we can at a blueberry pie;
  Scream at a comedy king or ameer;
Simply guffaw when the jestermen guy
  Marriage, a thing at which no one should jeer.
  Things that in others elicit a tear
All of our risibles simply unyoke;
  But from this stand we're unwilling to veer:
Down with the grandmother-funeral joke!

L'ENVOI

Brothers in motley, the season is here;
  Small is the boon that we sadly invoke:
Butcher it, murder it, jump on its ear! -
  Down with the grandmother-funeral joke!

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:00 min read
90

Quick analysis:

Scheme ababbcbC ababbcbC ababxcbC dcdC
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,137
Words 199
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 8, 8, 8, 4

Franklin P. Adams

Franklin Pierce Adams was an American columnist known as Franklin P. Adams and by his initials F. P. A.. Famed for his wit, he is best known for his newspaper column, "The Conning Tower", and his appearances as a regular panelist on radio's Information Please. A prolific writer of light verse, he was a member of the Algonquin Round Table of the 1920s and 1930s. more…

All Franklin P. Adams poems | Franklin P. Adams Books

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