The rest is history

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Rest it is
A long rest from my troubles
Seemed to be the thing
That got into me this spring
First, the car needed fixing
Then it was the kids
They seemed also to want a break from the strife
The wife simply took a vacation
The house had got to her
Simply put she is no longer my wife
After that the in laws got after me
It seems we had not had a visit in some years
Just the place to come to ‘get in touch with life’
Well the visit was cancelled, since we are no longer related
Re: the problems with the wife
I took to drinking, seems trouble jest follows me around these days
The home took to stinking
Seems the bank foreclosed, taxes were too high
Just the place to come, although on welfare now I barely get by
Without a wife car or home
Well my life’s been an amazing thing
Many people problems so I saw a social worker
She said I needed to ‘relate to life’
Due to my ‘financial readjustment to single life’
Lots of fun I had explaining her bill
In addition, some fun it was indeed
Ill never forget about her bill
she’s out to collection
She’s out of her mind too
Seems a sex change was what she wanted me to try
Well her bills got into the lost bills pile
She still makes me smile
She didn’t relate well to women’s clothes
And I thought it was me all the time
Therefore, there’s an answer for everyone
Except at my phone
The friends I make now don’t bother to call
Seems they’re homeless and time has taken it toll
The last call they would make
Would be a toll call
Which I got it programmed for
All callers are referred to my other seven disconnected numbers
I owe the phone company too
Well that’s it for my rest
Time to make deadline now
This writer has been put to the test
Good-bye so long we’ll see you again
If I ever get the IRS out of my hair
Well you’ve heard the story now
Bet it’ll be awhile
Before you get a rest
That job you got sounds like what I used to call ‘a fix’
But if you ever make it to 42nd and main
You can see my new digs
It’s a homeless shelter
The one behind the church
I said behind
Well no matter I don’t hear too well anymore
Seems the pastor, he’s a friend of mine
He was raked over the coals too, my friend
Yes he is. I think my life is just fine
As long as god isn’t calling me, I will be fine
The priest, he’s thinking of the church wine