Ruth's Tooth

I had a groovy girlfriend
Her Christian name was Ruth.
Suddenly she complained one day
about an aching tooth.

She made a dentist appointment
with a painful moan and groan
She could barely be understood
upon the telephone.

She spoke with the receptionist
and reluctantly confirmed a time
Realizing she may get nervous
on Thursday at half past nine.

Ruth asked would I accompany her
and maybe work as a team
Stand and hold my hand real tight
and be there when I scream.

The day had come, it was no fun
A morning of pain and deception
She parked the car, the walk was far
Then she strolled into reception.

She was guided to the waiting room
The appearance was pristine
Trying hard to settle the nerves
with a Woman's Day magazine.

She was called into the engine room
and was invited to sit down
He started probing her exposed teeth
and poking his mirror around.

As the dentist slowly retracted
He said “I will be exact
I’ve finally made my decision
I’m going to extract.”

She clenched both armrests firmly
then began to fret
Her forehead had accumulated
little beads of sweat.

She said “I’d rather have a baby
Than have a tooth that’s in despair”
The dentist said “You better make your mind up
Before I tilt the chair”.

Then a fully laden needle
anaesthetized her throbbing gum
It didn’t take much time at all
before her lip was numb.

The anesthetic quickly set in
Her view was turned to night
Within a matter of minutes
poor Ruth was out like a light.

It didn’t take much pulling
to create a gaping hole
Then the sound of a molar tooth
bouncing into the kidney bowl.

Ruth was finally relieved of pain
Because it was a little rotten
Another vital part of Ruth
was gone but not forgotten.

So that’s the intriguing story
of my lovely girlfriend Ruth
And the unfortunate departure
of her aching molar tooth.