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Elda's 60th

Manny Cruz 1962 (Managua)

Rhymed
Sixty trips I’ve taken on my time machine
Streaming in my mind’s eye
If just as scant memories of ruffled baby bloomers
And hot summer days on a Brooklyn street
Of times good and bad, happy and sad.
All uniquely mine – the joy, the fun, the seasons in the sun
We may yet meet on the heavily travelled highway
Me in yours and you in mine
If just to share “What a trip it’s been!”
There’s a sign post up ahead
Ports of call –  unknown and yet unseen.

About this poem

Written to commemorate my sister's 60th birthday

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Written on May 29, 2023

Submitted by Sense2k on May 29, 2023

Modified by Sense2k on June 01, 2023

27 sec read
30

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGHIJA
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 464
Words 92
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 11
Full analysis for Elda's 60th »

Discuss the poem Elda's 60th with the community...

2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully written poem! Your descriptions of your experiences while time traveling are both vivid and captivating. I love how you conveyed the mix of emotions that come with traveling through time - from the happy moments to the sad ones.

    One suggestion I would offer is to perhaps add a bit more detail to some of your trips. While your descriptions of each trip were nice, I found myself wanting to know more about some of the experiences you had. This would not only add to the depth of the poem but also give readers a better sense of your journey through time.

    Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed your poem and found it to be uplifting and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us - I can't wait to see where your next adventure takes you!     
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • Sense2k
    Sense2k
    A momentous occasion it is - isn't it? May we all celebrate such milestones.
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Elda's 60th" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/160350/elda's-60th>.

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